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“No” Isn’t Personal: Understanding Behaviour in Children Under 5

Life with a young child can feel emotionally demanding in ways that are hard to explain to others. There are days when you repeat the same words again and again, watch rules collapse in seconds, and wonder how a child who clearly understands can suddenly seem unable to cooperate. In those moments, frustration often mixes with doubt. Parents may ask themselves whether they are doing something wrong, being too strict, too soft, or simply missing something important. Much of this experience, however, reflects the reality of early childhood development rather than a problem with parenting or a child’s attitude. When Behaviour Feels Confusing In everyday life, behaviour in children under five can look inconsistent and unpredictable. A child may refuse a request they followed earlier, test limits they already know, or move rapidly between cooperation and resistance. The same child may behave calmly in one setting and struggle intensely in another, even when expectations remain unchanged...
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Adolescence, Emotion, and Everyday Decisions

As a psychologist, I often hear adults say some version of: “They know better… so why do they still do this?” It’s a fair question, and it usually comes from frustration rather than criticism. The short answer is that during adolescence, knowing and doing don’t always line up in the moment, and that has a lot to do with development. Life with an adolescent can feel emotionally demanding in ways that are hard to explain to others. There are moments when a young person appears thoughtful, reflective, and capable, and others when reactions feel sudden, intense, or out of proportion. Conversations that begin calmly can escalate quickly. Decisions that seem obvious to adults may be dismissed or ignored. In these moments, concern often mixes with doubt. Much of this experience, however, reflects the reality of adolescent development rather than a lack of insight, values, or motivation. When Behaviour Feels Inconsistent In everyday life, adolescent behaviour can appear uneven and contradicto...
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